MY STORY
There are two main categories of problem drinkers (I thínk, but I’m not a professional): The everyday drinkers & the binge drinkers. I fall in the latter category… I started drinking at age 15, getting drunk at school parties, and soon realised I did not possess that so-called ‘stop button’. Always the last one standing (or more accurately: stumbling/falling over) and not wanting to stop drinking, even if I would be as drunk as a skunk.
Funny perhaps in the beginning but soon not so much anymore. There was a lot of drama, lost items and regrets involved on many of my nights out and around my end teens/beginning twenties, I knew my relationship with alcohol was really not ok and something needed to change. I went to the Jellinek in Amsterdam (a Dutch organisation that offers help, information and treatments to people with any kind of addiction) for help. I remember they helped me trying to moderate (cause I told them there´s no way I´m stopping completely, I´m 21 years old!) but all to no avail: I was unstoppable! Didn’t think a life without alcohol was any fun (and “am I really that bad?!”🙄 ) so I just kept drinking.
WHY OH WHY
The difficulty with being a binge drinker or a gray area drinker is, in my opinion, that, because you’re not really fulfilling that ‘full-blown alcoholic’ image, you keep telling yourself ‘you’re not that bad’. Which makes stopping very tricky. “Do I really need to stop drinking or am I overreacting?”. Which is actually totally insane because it isn’t really about whether you are ´bad enough´ to stop, is it, it is about making your life the best life possible! And if stopping drinking altogether improves your quality of life, WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU KEEP DRINKING?!
Anyway, to continue my story: I sometimes managed to stop drinking for a few months, a year even at one point, over the next 20/25 years but never managed to become a happy drinker again (or stop!). Until 4th May 2019 – The day that I had another crushing hangover and the day that I was done. I knew this couldn’t continue, this was a life wasted. And I finally managed to nót drink anymore (unless in an airplane, long story on which I will elaborate in another blog post).
TIPS TO STOP BINGE DRINKING
So that was me… Now to the tips to stop binge drinking, based on my personal experience of being a(n) (ex-)binger. Here we go!
Tip 1
If you’re anything like me, avoid wasting your time trying to moderate first. Trying to moderate while being a binger is DEMOTIVATING, DEPRESSING & EXHAUSTING as f*ck. It´s easier and way more fun to stop completely, believe me.
Tip 2
Avoid tricky situations in the first few months. For me, this was meeting my friends in settings that revolve around drinking. So I kept doing all the stuff I always did with them(having coffees/shopping/cinema/going out for dinner/beach days/Padel tennis), just nóthing that included drinking.
Tip 3
I always found it really hard to ´stay stopped´. Easy enough to not drink for a couple of weeks, especially after a huge, depressing, days-long hangover, but then, as soon as I’d feel good again I was like: “Yay, let’s share a bottle of bubbles, fuuun!!!” F*cking goldfish syndrome, am I right?! So I suggest taking at least a year off drinking and then reconsider your options. A year is doable as a binger (I found) and it gives you time to really start seeing all the advantages of not having (the option) to drink. Also, most likely by that time, you’ll have fallen in love with not drinking and you won´t want to live your life any other way.
Tip 4
Find a community! I have tried stopping many times for so long and one of the HUGE differences this last time, was that I started my Instagram account, @sobertopia. On Instagram, I found an incredible, supportive sober community. I read quazillions of posts about relatable situations, chatted for days on end with other sober (curious) people and I even met some of my sober Insta-friends in real life! I´ve never felt so understood and supported in my sobriety as when I found this crew… So for me it was Instagram but for you it could be something different, for instance the Soberistas community (UK), the Sober Girl Society (also UK), the Sober in Life platform (NL) or the Sober Mom Tribe (US), all awesome sober communities where you can feel supported and inspired to life a beautiful booze-free life.
Tip 5
Whenever that “I want a drink NOW” moment pops up, and it will!, PAUSE for 10 mins… Time it if that helps. I used to hit that “F*ck it” button quicker than Michael Larson in the game show ´Press Your Luck´ but if you can just restrain yourself for 10 mins the urge will have subsided and you will be super happy and proud that you resisted the urge to drink.
Tip 6
The most important one of all: Don’t wait 25 years like me!!! Don’t be scared and think that your life is over when you stop drinking, it isn’t, it only gets better!!! If I would have known how incredible a life without booze is, I would have stopped decades ago (god I’m old haha).
So what do you think? Do these tips to stop binge drinking sound helpful to you? Are you ready to start living in 100% freedom with the clarity of an eagle and the joy for life like a little kid? I do hope so and please feel free to contact me if you have any questions (or just for a chat)!
𝓍 ℐ𝓏𝓏𝓎
