Some people can drink alcohol moderately and at the same time manage to have a happy and balanced life. Some people cannot. Me.
And I am ok with that!
Finally…
Moderate drinking –> It took me a few good years (or more like 2 decades to be really honest) to accept that moderate drinking is no option for me and to actually be ok with that. I simply do not have a stop button. Which means that I have no control over myself and my actions after a few drinks. It does not mean that bad shit happened to me every time that I drank. Or that I drank every day. I was a binge drinker that occasionally got utterly hammered and the problem (well, one of them) was that I could never predict when that Doom Day arrived. How scary is that! I would néver know whether that days´ drink session would end with being slightly tipsy and arriving home after a giggle with my friends or with getting totally wasted and not remembering how the fuck I got home.
The thing I did know was that I had to stop drinking. I have known that for a long time. But for so long I felt deprived of having fun (why is drinking poison (oh sorry I mean alcohol) fun again?) and thought I was so utterly unlucky… Why do í have to be one of those people that can not handle alcohol? Why why why… Man did I feel sorry for myself!
But today this is a completely different story. Today I feel lucky not to háve to drink anymore! I’m free!
No more pondering
No more pondering over when it would be ok to drink what. Not tóo much of course, maybe I should just have 3 drinks a night max. And of course, only on the weekends (do weekends start on Thursday?). Maybe I should only drink bubbles as they make me drunk less quickly. And it is obvs ok to drink on special occasions, like dinner parties, holidays, birthdays (incl kids parties, I mean the adults also deserve to have some fun and fun equals drinking alcohol, right?), Xmas, weddings, funerals etc You get the gist.
This thinking about alcohol, trying to moderate my drinking, took up a lót of my time and energy. While now it is so very simple: I DO NOT DRINK. Never.
My last bender
The last time drinking that ended in alcohol-infused shenanigans was on the 3rd May 2019. It started with a few glasses of bubbles with a friend at lunch, around 2pm. Then I met up with other friends for a Friday afternoon drink. Which led to us having a quick bite at the local Chinese restaurant. After that, one of my friends and I thought it would be a great idea to hit the casino. I WAS HOME AT 4.30am !!!
The next morning I felt, as you can imagine, as good as dead. Eating was impossible, I could hardly drink a sip of water, it all came out as soon as I tried. I was unable to get out of bed, other than crawling to the toilet to be sick. This lasted for about 24 hrs and the second 24 hrs after that were slightly less horrendous but still pretty f-ing nasty. It took me like 5 days to feel human again. 5 days!! Besides my own suffering and my husband having to do everything, this wasn´t a great example for my daughter either. She was 10 yrs old at the time, so knew exactly what was going on. I was full of shame and felt so incredibly guilty but there was nothing I could do. My body simply didn´t cooperate. It was broken. Kaput.
No more debilitating hangovers
So back to the now: No longer do I have depressing, day(s)-long, physically as well as mentally exhausting and debilitating hangovers. There are no more next day cancellations of fun things I had planned or having to call in sick at work due to me not being able to leave my bed either.
None of this no more, just like that! All magically erased from my life by just doing 1 thing –> néver having that first drink.
And yes, it took me about 23 years but I got there in the end! I can now call myself a happy non-drinker ☺️ I don´t see the fun of alcohol anymore. Nor the need. I don´t have the feeling that I´m missing out on ánything. I´m good with my nice alcohol-free concoctions, thanks very much.
Everyone is different though and should do whatever makes him or her happy. What are your thoughts about (moderate) drinking? Are you a happy non-drinker or drinker? Or a happy moderate drinker? Or perhaps you’re undecided and still finding out what works for you? Let me know, I would love to hear from you in the comment section below! ❤️
PS This article was updated on 27.04.2023
