This is Annette’s story…
For years, drinking felt like the key that unlocked confidence, fun, and connection for me. But eventually, I realized it was holding me back from the life I truly wanted.
I was very shy growing up. I had friends, but I wasn’t naturally outgoing. I often felt anxious during those small moments before the bell rang or in new social settings and by high school, my insecurities made me feel socially awkward. My first experience drinking was at age 16 at a party with family friends. I immediately noticed how it made me feel more social, more relaxed, and less anxious. For the first time I felt confident and even “cool” in those environments, so different from how I felt at school.
Back then, I journaled about how excited I was for college. I pictured myself with more freedom, a fresh start, and a brand-new social life.
College Years
When I joined a sorority my freshman year, I quickly made close friends. I loved going to socials, theme parties, and formals, and before I knew it, binge drinking became my norm. At the time, I didn’t think twice about it; it felt like part of the college experience.
I even received the Lindsay Lohan Award at our sorority’s pledge dance/formal, a silly recognition for my wild, sometimes unpredictable antics. Looking back, some nights were fun, some messy, and some completely humiliating; yet I was starting to notice the creeping sense that alcohol was shaping my identity more than I realized.
Early Career
After graduation, I started my first sales job. In San Francisco, happy hours and weekend bar nights with coworkers were standard. It felt good to fit in with my team, but deep down, I knew my drinking wasn’t always serving me. Even as I laughed and bonded with my coworkers over drinks, I couldn’t shake the growing sense that alcohol was quietly shaping who I was, how I approached social situations, how I handled stress, and even how I saw myself. The fun nights often came with regret, shame, and anxious hangovers, especially when I overdrank around family or coworkers.
There were a few occasions where I went too far at work events or happy hours. I remember one time in particular when I had overshared with a VP about things that were bothering me. I was mortified the next day, but I was so grateful for the grace and empathy I was shown. Those moments have stayed with me, and if I ever have direct reports, they’re the type of leader I aspire to be: compassionate, understanding, and patient.
By my mid-20s, I recognized my social drinking was a problem, even if I wasn’t drinking daily. I started therapy, tried a few AA meetings with a coworker, and told myself I’d stick to “limits.” For years, I experimented with moderation. Sometimes I went 1–3 months alcohol-free, and I loved how good I felt during those stretches with more energy, mental clarity, and time for hiking and healthy hobbies. But inevitably, I’d slip back into old patterns.
A Turning Point
In November 2022, I was laid off from a job I loved, and it was one of the most stressful times of my life. I told myself that if I could accomplish one thing during that downtime, it would be to finally get my drinking under control.
I downloaded the Reframe app, connected with others on similar journeys, and dove into books and podcasts—Gabrielle Bernstein became a huge inspiration. I also started reshaping my social life: yoga events, meetups, wellness activities. Slowly, I began to see that it was possible to connect without alcohol at the center.
Then came August 2023. At a family festival, someone made a hurtful comment, and I reached for the wine. I drank too much and woke up feeling devastated. That morning, my dad sat me down. Calmly, he reminded me of all the good things in my life: my career, my light, my potential. But he also pointed out the one fatal flaw: alcohol. He encouraged me to consider quitting altogether. For the first time, I said, “Okay.”
It was terrifying. The thought of giving up alcohol felt like losing a part of myself. And yet, I also felt a spark of hope, maybe this was the moment I’d been waiting for all along.
Choosing Sobriety
That same morning, I reached out to my cousin and an old sorority sister who were both living sober lives. Their support was invaluable. I held on to a quote that still guides me today: “Sobriety is to give up one thing for everything.”
I distanced myself from bars and environments where I felt tempted, and instead leaned into yoga, mindfulness, walks, pickleball, and dance. Socializing without alcohol wasn’t always easy. Some friendships faded, but sobriety opened the door to more authentic connection. I’ve always had true friends in my life, but instead of mostly adding “party friends,” I was now building relationships rooted in genuine connection.
Sometimes I laugh at the contrast: the same San Francisco streets where I once bar-hopped are now where I do “wellness crawls.” One of my first big traditionally drinking events after committing to sobriety was Fleet Week. I expected to feel out of place or like the odd one out, but instead, a girl in my group I had never met came up to me and said, “You are an inspiration!” We quickly hit it off. For a while, we spent a lot of time together going to Barry’s Bootcamp, taking out her kayak, and even attending a pumpkin decorating party she invited me to. It was refreshing to connect with someone who genuinely appreciated my sober lifestyle, and it left me feeling optimistic about the possibilities for building meaningful, alcohol-free friendships.
My weekends now look like hiking, going to cafés, or studying for my master’s degree (I graduate this spring!). Nights spent staying in used to give me anxiety, but now, I appreciate a quiet night reading books that feed my mind rather than dull it.
Today
One of my fears when I quit drinking was that it would make dating harder. The truth is, sobriety helped me find a partner who shares my values. On August 27, I celebrated two years sober in Verona, Italy—my dream destination since childhood—with my wonderful boyfriend by my side.
Sobriety has also taught me to celebrate myself in meaningful ways. Each year, I treat myself to a special splurge. A statement piece that makes me feel polished and classy. These annual “anniversary” treats are more than indulgence; they’re a reflection of the growth I’ve cultivated.
I’ve never felt happier or more like myself. I no longer rely on alcohol to feel social or brave. Every day, I choose clarity over chaos, presence over numbness, and genuine connection over superficial fun. I feel truly present in my life, my relationships, my work, and with myself.
I feel so much gratitude for this journey. I’m thankful for the health, energy, and mental clarity that sobriety has given me, for the people who supported me along the way, and for the chance to live a life that truly reflects who I am. Every moment, whether a quiet morning with a book, a meaningful conversation with a friend, or a hike in nature, feels richer and more alive. I’m thankful not just for what sobriety has given me, but also for who I’ve become in the process. Sobriety has given me the confidence I used to think only alcohol could provide, and it’s opened the door to a fuller, more authentic life.
“I’m a Bay Area native, living in San Francisco since 2012. I’m passionate about volunteering, giving back, and am an animal lover.”
~ Annette
Are you interested in sharing YOUR sobriety story with me and my readers? You can do this anonymously or with your name and/or bio. If you’d like to know more, leave me a message HERE and I will tell you all about it. Izzy
